“Quite simply the best book I have ever read on negotiating in situations of extreme conflict”
Matthew Bishop, The Economist Group
“Dan Shapiro has written a masterpiece – clear, insightful, and practical – about the most difficult and emotionally – charged of negotiations: those that revolve around identity. Highly recommended!”
William Ury, co-author of Getting to Yes & author of Getting to
Yes with Yourself
For anyone struggling with conflict, this book can transform you
Negotiating the Nonnegotiable takes you on a journey into the heart and soul of conflict, providing unique insight into the emotional undercurrents that too often sweep us out to sea. With vivid stories of his closed-door sessions with warring political groups, disputing businesspeople, and families in crisis, Daniel Shapiro presents a universally applicable method to successfully navigate conflict. A deep, provocative book to reflect on and wrestle with, this book can change your life.
Be warned: This book is not a quick fix. Real change takes work. You will learn how to master five emotional dynamics that can sabotage conflict outside your awareness:
- Vertigo: How can you avoid getting emotionally consumed in conflict?
- Repetition compulsion: How can you stop repeating the same conflicts again and again?
- Taboos: How can you discuss sensitive issues at the heart of the conflict?
- Assault on the sacred: What should you do if your values feel threatened?
- Identity politics: What can you do if others use politics against you?
Amb. Jaime de Bourbon
“One of the most important books of our modern era”